Before I Die...

Yesterday was another day when I just wanted to give up. If a terrorist succeeds he has the next day off (and the next and next and next because he's now dead). If the person opposite a terrorist gives all of their life and is successful in bringing out the life in others, the next day he or she wakes up to do it again. 

Sometimes it seems just too much.

On my way to work I told myself, "Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall. Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all that life really means." - Robert Louis Stevenson

It didn't help. So I asked myself if I was going to give up right now in this moment. The answer was "no". "OK", I thought. "Then that's what I have to do today. Live moment-to-moment, nothing more than inside the very moment I'm in. One second at a time. One student at a time. One personal challenge at a time. One positive thought at a time. This is what zen is for me anyway. So I'm being forced to live in the most ideal way, and that is good."

Then I asked myself another question: "If I were to die today....whether physically or giving up and dying inside because this way of life just got to be too much.....If this were my last day to be really alive......How much will I really live?







How freely and courageously would I play the music I hear beating inside of me? (I used the Gypsy Kings this morning to wake me up and get me going)

And what proof do I have that playing this music (the unlimited potential of the human spirit) is worth the cost?

That depends not only on how alive I feel, but on how alive others feel around me.

Do they find the courage to see and dream of brand new worlds of possibility within themselves?

Do they develop this ability to create a bigger and better world by being able to do bigger and better things than they've ever done?  

How BIG and DEEPLY do they THINK and DREAM (picture of Socrates in background) and how BIG and DEEPLY do they FEEL and DO? (300 pic of King Leonidas on other side of room)

I still haven't figured out this whole "how best to educate students on an individual basis" thing, (pic of my son discovering how to paint to remind me to let my students discover knowledge and develop wisdom)

but it has to be pursuing the answer to the question, "How can we get each one of them to dedicate their lives to creating their highest and greatest lives?" (two of the lowest performing math students at the beginning of the year, now two of the highest)

And anyone can live their lives, no matter how fully, for one more second at a time.